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The Die Is Cast

A game called Tharsis just come out from a group called Choice Provisions, which I'd never heard of. Game development at the "triple a" level creates tons of human shrapnel, though, and I assumed that it was another ill-used cadre fleeing the mothership - but "Choice Provisions" is just what Gaijin Games is calling themselves now. If you ever liked a game whose name started with BIT.TRIP, then you like their stuff. They've allied themselves with designer Zach Gage, who has made at least one game you like. But it won't prepare you for Tharsis.

Automata Leads And Bios!

Hey, I thought you would think these were really cool. Filming just got underway, but right before that Dabe did some cool promo shots for you to savor. Check it out!

Space Holes

I feel like we've established an immutable truth here. The only distinction between instances of this are how long it takes for you to realize that what came out is bad. For example, some kind of resplendent elven-type motherfucker comes out, and you're like "God Damn!" but he keeps coming out, and his whole cape is made out of screaming faces. Right? Seems good up front, then, face cape. It's things like that.

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Praise Him

I told him this for real, as a joke, and he seemed to think it was really funny. Also, I felt like there should be a band named Star-Elk. And I know exactly who else is in this band. I can see the logo, too. It's got to be one of those inexplicably rendered things that only members of the band can read. Or, maybe something more like the indomitable paraph of Queen Elizabeth I. It could go a couple ways. I'm open to interpretations of this imaginary band founded by imaginary teenagers.

Geocide

I keep grabbing JRPGs and not liking them, and it's got me worried, because I've always thought of myself as someone who liked those. Even when one worms its way through my ventral guard plates I almost never actually finish them. The more inviting they've gotten to a mainstream audience, the less I've enjoyed them I guess. I'm not trying to adopt a pose, here. I liked them more when they were "boring." I really did like watching a bunch of people stand stock-still while I fucked around in some menus.

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Dare To Dream

Dogs are a theme that runs through a lot of my favorite strips in the archive. Apparently? I just found this out. Like, the one with the Canid is big with Tychos in every demo. There is an old New Year's Resolution type strip which also features dogs that I like a lot, and today's strip is the sequel. I know what you're thinking! How do you top that. My answer: even more dogs.

A Whole New World

The time we spent with Cho'gall gave us the impression that we liked Heroes of the Storm! Except we don't. Or, we do, as long as we're playing Cho'gall. Playing that dude, or... that pile of dudes, is like playing another game altogether while everyone else is playing HotS.

MAILBAG!

It's been a while since I checked my Penny Arcade email address so I thought I'd dive in there and see what you all have to say!

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My Favorite Games of 2015

I have no idea what Tycho is talking about but I think we agree. If you asked me why I thought Undertale was stupid I'd just tell you it looked like shit and made no fucking sense. It is the videogame equivalent of the nonsense symbols crazy people draw on their walls with shit. Maybe you super like it? That probably just means you're cooler than me. Luckily there's tons of other rad games to play.

Early Onset Coot Disease

Undertale is the New Game You Have To Like Or You Don't Get It. These sanctified vessels are selected by an organization that is either lofty or subterranean, I haven't decided, and one of the cool things about being old is that I don't care.

All Through The House, Part Four

That's a wrap for All Through The House. Like any of our other "babies" - weird story things which are not primarily about dogs eating a man's balls or exploding dicks - this one has the occasional suitor. One of these is going to get all the way to a screen someday, and I don't mean because we did it ourselves. I mean somebody's gonna make one of these a "real boy," and it could launch on the same day as a new Star Wars and I would still be pleased.